Emotional Healing


Tears welled up in her eyes as John left her standing in the rain. It was another cold, rainy night in the middle of August, the wettest month of the year. But tonight felt like the coldest night of the whole year. John had just broken up with her and had left her heart in shambles. She had done everything to make him stay, all to no avail. Love had come into her life and had left her broken.
John was Bella`s third boyfriend in a year. First, it was Joseph, who she later caught kissing another girl at a friend`s party; then Michael, the handsome flirty dude who never really cared about her and dumped her within a month; and finally John, who was now her ex. They all left her heart-broken, not knowing that they each took little pieces of her heart when they all left.
Bella was 19. She was 5 feet 8 inches tall and had a slender frame. She had one of the most beautiful smiles one could find anywhere in the world. Her pretty brown eyes, full cheeks and jet-black hair did everything possible not to hide her beauty. Simply put, Bella was an epitome of natural beauty. Having recently gained admission into the university, she was preparing to leave home in a few months. She was leaving Dad, Mum and her two siblings for the first time in her life.
Her family was the religious type. Her Dad was a deacon. So, technically, I guess we could call her a PK (Preacher`s Kid). All was going well at home.. but all was not well with Bella. She was fighting an unseen battle. She`d grown up attending Sunday School, painting Bible characters and singing old missionary songs. But with adolescence came peer pressure. Friends became more important and seemed more reasonable than old folks who could only quote vague passages from scripture that had no meaning to her.
When Bella clocked 16, she was the only one amongst her peers without a boyfriend. Everyone else seemed to have something “great” going on with someone.. everyone, of course, except Bella. She was firm and resolute about not dating. “Daddy said no dating till I earn my first degree,” she`d told them. In most African homes, Daddy and Mummy controlled that sensitive part of a teenager`s life until they crossed adolescence – until a few decades ago, when we allowed dating into our culture. So, Bella was at crossroads: to date or not to date. And the heavier side of the boat always sinks..
Godly dating. That`s what she called it. And, from Bella`s point of view, certain ground rules had to be clearly listed out for godly dating to take place. No dating unbelievers, no unnecessary physical touch, etc. (the whole lot of them). And so she went from Joseph, to Michael, to John.. all Christian guys – with saintly names. But Bella was not prepared for what she met. Truth be told, 85% of us were never prepared for that first relationship. We thought feelings were enough.. and we got to know better, but not until we were in the relationship.
What many seem not to understand is that every heart break leaves a scar. Maybe your heart has been so disfigured that it looks just a little bit better than a crumpled, used and disposed piece of sandpaper. Some scars running so deep that they still hurt years after the injury. Bella wasn`t ready emotionally or mentally. She`d started out saying, “I`m in it to see how it is. I`m not hurting anyone.” Anyone but herself!
And many innocent Bellas get into relationships without being prepared, always ending up hurt. One, two, three, four relationships, and soon nobody seems to care enough to count any longer! We walk about with shattered hearts and troubled minds in desperate need for emotional healing. But healing won`t come by dating more people. Only at The Cross can lasting healing be found.
To the Christian parent: lead your child through this period of life or someone else will. To the “yet to date” Christian: spend time preparing yourself for a spouse, not a dating partner. To the “dating” Christian: ask for His hand in that relationship. To the “in between relationships” Chistian: you don`t have to be in between relationships – prepare and pray that the next will be the last.
I pray for emotional healing for all believers in need of healing. You can never live life fully except you receive the touch that makes you whole.
Wait, pray… and trust GOD. He`s a healer!


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