I Slept With Tamar

Crying Man

I remember the first day she smiled at me
She had tied my heart with strong reins
And I became a willful captive, bound by
The simple thought of my mistress

Her voice became my very bread, I
Would wake up everyday hoping to hear
The voice that made me come alive inside,
The words that could set me on fire

I would spend evenings under the moon,
Thinking about her beauty and grace
This belle had stolen my heart, and never
Knew that a dark hollow stood in its place

Her voice, her smile and her laughter soon
Became inadequate to quench the desire that
Began to grow within, fires had been started that
Couldn’t be extinguished by man

I was a man on fire, a man obsessed with Tamar
I became ill, I almost lost my mind
I wanted Tamar, I wanted her so bad that I
Could disregard my Father’s precepts and laws

It wasn’t time, I wasn’t ready, but my hormones
Took over and made me their slave, fettered and
Shackled by mere substances that had been created
By my Father to be in my control and power

I needed to have her so desperately, and I did
I striped her of her innocence and made her
Lay bare upon the cold ground, I made her
Mine and basked in my conquest

But my smile was soon replaced by a frown
My joy disappeared into thin air, like smoke
Dissipated by the cool evening breeze
My love soon gave way to hate

I couldn’t spend another minute with her, so
I sent her out of my chambers, hurt and ignominious
My raging hormones went to sleep and I saw,
For the first time, how I had been decieved

I have had twelve other Tamars since then
I fall each time; one Tamar had given way
To several others and I am continually weak,
My hormones always beating my willpower

But Father beckons unto me, I hear Him say,
“Come,” through the mess that I call my life
I feel His love breaking the hardness in my heart
And this time I am letting go

If I ever meet Tamar again, I will treat
Her like the daughter of a King, I will beg
The King for his blessings
I will go on my knees and plead

Until the King says yes, I won’t pursue
I will wait at the foot of that throne till
He says yes, I will wait until the King
Proclaims his blessings on us

Every Tamar is the King’s daughter..

© Eleazar Maduka, 2017


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